Infertility, an IVF journey and why you should never give up hope….

I´ve been wanting to write an IVF blog for a while, but it never seemed to be the right time.

My first son was totally unplanned, but very much wanted, and despite horrific morning sickness (which never occurred in the morning but literally all day) my pregnancy was pretty easy.

Oliver at one week old

Oliver at one week old

IMG_3174

Oliver now at five years old

When I fell pregnant two years later I was a nervous wreck. Oliver had been such a difficult baby and toddler and I wasn´t sure I was ready for even more sleepless nights (Oliver didn´t sleep through the night until he was four!!)

When I then miscarried at three months, I was devastated and in total shock. It had never even occurred to me that I could miscarriage. Me, young, fertile, with a healthy son.

Having taken so long to brave the decision of baby number two, it took me a further year and a half to get over my loss, move on and try again.

Time went by and nothing happened. I charted, I changed my diet, I went to one Gynecologist after another but the answer was always the same, ” You´re young, just give it time.”

It´s the most frustrating response in the world when everyone who is around you and ten years older is pregnant after a month, and here you are, in your mid twenties and nothing is happening month after month.

I´d just about given up hope when I went back to England for a holiday last August and was then thrilled to find out I was finally pregnant. It wasn´t to be. At 5 weeks I was told I was having an ectopic pregnancy, and was rushed in to surgery to have my fallopian tube removed.

My world caved in again. I needed six weeks to get back walking and was told by one expert to wait a year before trying and to accept that it may well  happen again. I went back to my regular Gynecologist, who knew how much I wanted a baby and told him like it was. ” Yes I know I´m 28 and that´s young, yes I know pregnancy can take a long time, but this is my body, my time and my life, so I need a straight answer. How long will it take me to get pregnant, what are my chances and what do you recommend, because otherwise I will be going for IVF even if you ALL say it´s unnecessary.”

He laughed a lot and then said, “You´ve only got one tube, you´ve got polycystic ovaries, your husband is 39 and you have had two miscarriages. You can try for another three years and maybe get nowhere which is what any Gynecologist would recommend you do at your age, or you can go get IVF and save yourself a lot of heartbreak, stress and further miscarriages.”

I broke down and cried. Not because it was bad news, but because it had taken me years to get an honest answer.

I wasted no time and got an appointment with an IVF clinic, who after checking my ovarian store (how many eggs you have left) diagnosed me as pre-menopausal due to such a low egg count. This is something I NEVER would have found out from my normal Gynecologist. I would have waited a further year of trying to even get that result. Bottom line, I needed to do IVF to be in with a chance of having more kids.

Since I have started my IVF treatment I have been shocked about the lack of information there is out there and by the amount of young people who are under going IVF. I have a VLOG all about my IVF journey here if you want to check it out so far.

So for anyone going through infertility issues please don´t give up and for anyone who is going through IVF, you are not alone and there´s nothing to be ashamed of. (Yes, I have actually had people tell me that IVF is unnatural or that it is wrong!)

Good luck Ladies whatever your situation

xx

Mummascribbles

15 thoughts on “Infertility, an IVF journey and why you should never give up hope….

  1. Can’t even begin to imagine what you have been going through and very brave of you to share your journey. #sharewithme

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  2. What a journey you have been on and lovely post. Hope and faith must be hard to keep through the tough times but always the strongest point isn’t it? Thanks for linking up to Share With Me I hope you are enjoying my blog hop and thanks for all the linky support! #sharewithme

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  3. I find it extraordinary that — in this day and age — anyone would say that IVF is ‘unnatural’ or ‘wrong’. When the whole D&G debacle broke in the press earlier on in the year I wrote a blog post in defence of ‘synthetic’ babies.

    My boys are the ‘product’ of medical intervention. Without IVF I wouldn’t be a mother. IVF is one of the most incredible forms of modern day science — it’s given hope and life to so many people. I thank my lucky stars I was born in an era where IVF is readily available and technology is so advanced. Thanks so much for sharing your story and thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday x

    Caro | http://www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk

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    • Hi! Thanks for reading the post and commenting and ofcourse for the linky opportunity to share and read others posts!
      It does seem incredible that there are still people who think like that, but luckily they are a minority.
      I am also so grateful for IVF and know many people who would not have had the opportunity to be a parent without it.

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  4. About your last few lines “people tell me that IVF is unnatural…” – to that I would say that it’s about as ‘unnatural’ as giving birth by c-section (which I did). In other words, it’s still reproduction, it’s still a blessing and it’s still pregnancy. I do wish you all the best on your journey. x #twinklytuesday

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  5. I’m wishing you lots of luck. It’s frustrating isn’t it how the standard of medical advice varies so much between gynaes. I wish it was like America here where you could find one like you do a dentist. I know there would be a cost but frankly I’d pay it. I had my kids late, albeit naturally, at 43 and 45 so I have similar, but different experiences, if you see what I mean. #twinklytuesday

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    • Hi! Yes, it is very frustrating considering they all went to Med school! It seems getting pregnant sometimes has less to do with age and lots to do with the individual, but I imagine, with a sister in law who had her second child at 39, that you went through much of the same fears and complications as she did. Difficult at any age. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

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  6. Wow I can’t imagine the difficult times you’ve been through and you’re so brave to share your journey. I’m so glad to finally ‘meet’ you through a linky!! If I’m honest I know hardly anything about IVF but now I’m going to do a little reading on it! Xx

    Carolyn
    http://www.stylishmemories.com

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    • Hi! I was just checking out your link too!! IVF actually has an amazing community behind it online which I guess you don´t know about until you are in this boat. It´s been very tough but there´s always a silver lining. thanks for stopping by! xx

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  7. What a courageous and personal post. I am sure it’ll give a lot of woman hope and strength. It’s always good to know that others go through the same thing.

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    • Thanks Ella, I really ummed and arred about writing it but I found other people´s stories of similar things so comforting, as you say just to know that you´re not alone!

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